Welcome

Welcome fellow vagabonds! Just a quick message to tell you a little about this page and what to expect!

My name is Grace and I’m going to college for Elementary Education in Kansas. I enjoy calming nights, though I don’t get much of them. My ideal night is taking a relaxing bath and having a face mask, wearing an oversized hoodie, reading a book, and drinking a coffee or tea. My normal posts will be about new adventurous things I’ve tried or maybe even just a fun thing I did that day. If you enjoy recipes, stories about crazy adventures, and my journey as a struggling gardener, this blog is a perfect one to follow.

I welcome all and thank you for reading all of my crazy, silly blogs!

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Some Inspiration for you all

Right now is a key point in the semester at school. No matter what kind of school you are going to, if you are attending school, you are likely feeling the slight pressure of assignments or grades right now. For those of you not in school, life could definitely still be trying you right now. I would like to help give you some slight comfort in the now.

Whatever has been weighing on you, take a second to let it go. Get comfortable with where you’re sitting and take a breath. Focus on only breathing and reading, let everything else go away. Become aware of your limbs, how they’re sitting. Be aware of yourself against the chair. Breathe in and out. Have only enough mind space to focus on your breathing. Let your eyes close for a minute and let passing thoughts come and go.

Your relaxation is very important. I hope you had a nice meditative moment to forget about everything else. Let yourself breathe every once in a while.

Hello, Vagabonds!

I feel like this may be a reoccurring statement I will start with, but I’m sorry for the lack of content! I began writing something with my goofy character, however I was not too proud of it. Feeling as if I owe something, I will give a quick update on how life is going instead! Hopefully I can give you a goofy post soon :[

-My school work is getting harder, but my grades are going up little by little!

-My boyfriend has made some delicious dinners for us the past week and let me tell you, I am going to miss the heck out of it.

-My boyfriend gave me a key to his appartment, so I have yet another place to call my home! (I am becoming even more of a vagabond…is that possible???)

– I feel I have yet to tell you this, my boyfriend is leaving in June to South Carloina for the Army. The very beginning of June, in fact. So I have from now, to the beginning of June to spoil him (of course even when he leaves I’ll give him loads of love through letters)

-I have agreed to not live on campus next year to go back living with my family to reduce costs. They have agreed to help get me a nicer, newer car and even pay for gas each week

-I have cleaned my room for room inspections and am sitting on a perfectly made bed with a ham sandwich

-My younger sister, Julie, is lactose intolerant. I am still making her favorite soup for her tomorrow, just without dairy

I hope this has been a good week for you all as well! Drop in the comments a big thing that has happened recently for you! I would love to hear from my readers :0

Good afternoon, Vagabonds!

It is storytime! If you were looking forward to my first background story with lots of accidental side-tracking and unnecessary details, you are in luck! It is officially my first background story on Grace’s life! (If this does not excite you, I do not blame you. An update on different happenings and even a positive story is in store soon)

In order to know my stories well and feel my excitement for different things, you must know the past.

*sounds of a harp playing backwards*

Middle School

I take you back to my awkward middle school years. My hair was cut in a bob that I had insisted on. My parents finally decided I could get a Facebook on the family laptop. My Facebook only consisted of Candy Crush requests and photos taken with crazy effects. I was a very goofy girl. Because of this, the cool kids at school thought I was weird and were not afraid to say so. I remember specific bullies I had in middle school, however this is not about that. Due to my social and silly nature, I was very interested in boyfriends. I did not really have an idea of what a date was and how I would get there, I just wanted a boy to call me pretty. I had a few boys that I “dated” in middle school, but it never had very good outcomes.

My view of myself was not very healthy because of these bullies and lack of people to call me pretty. I never really saw myself as a pretty girl, so I needed someone else to tell me I was to believe it. Pretty sad, I know. I stopped eating when I became a cheerleader so that I could be one of the skinnier girls on the team. I wanted to be one of the fliers (girls that get sent into the air) but I was too tall for that. In fact, I was one of the biggest girls on the team, so I was a backbase (the girl that supports everything else the most). That was a blow to my confidence.

Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of friends. I am even still friends with some of my best friends at the time. This story is not about those, though. I have made a lot of progress mentally and in order to explain it best, I will not be talking about those friends too much. I will only discuss one specific friend I had at the time. She was my best friend from about sixth grade and is still one of my best friends today. She is goofy and silly like me. I loved spending all of my time with her, especially in middle school. Our friendship has slowly evolved into a completely different friendship over the years. When we were first very close, she was very popular. She was pretty and very good at being social. I definitely wanted to be like her. She started having body issues about herself and that made me realize I was even worse than I thought. I thought there must be something really wrong with me if she thought there was something wrong with her.

High School

Once I got to high school, I evolved into even more of an outcast. I wore chokers and Pierce the Veil shirts. I still had friends, but they were more edgy than before. I drifted from some of my old friends. I definitely had anxiety, but it was not that bad until my Junior year. I did not care about my grades my Freshman year so I am very happy I developed motivation for my classes. I honestly do not know where my motivation came from, but I am glad I started coming out of my funk. I dated jerks during my freshman and some of my sophomore year. The first actual good guy I dated in high school changed my perspective on so many things. I realized how much I needed to change.

I developed strong motivation when I started dating my first love. I had never really been in love before. I had told boys I loved them but I had never felt this draw before. The funny thing is, is that was a different me. I will never feel that kind of love before. I have blogged about this in my thirty day journals (that I need to finish). I believe that the love that you feel for specific people is never the same as other love for other people. I have been in love 2-3 times and every single time it has been entirely different.

My first love and I dated for about a year and ten months. Over the course of that time, my personality strongly changed and grew for the better. I would not be the person I am now if I had not met him so I am happy I did. Either way, I developed new problems like anxiety over my grades and slight depression.

I did not know about the problems that lie ahead, but by my senior year my anxiety was a growing problem. I worried a lot of the future and the things that would come. I worried about college and my grades every day. After a lot of work and dedication, I graduated with a 3.7 GPA and the Kansas Scholars Curriculum. That was all a large achievement for me, looking at where I started freshman year.

College

I started my freshman year of college already struggling. One of my closest friends from high school passed away over the summer. I was having a difficult time with emotions from that loss. Going to college was a huge change. I was working at a restaurant and met my love. The hours I was working there, though was too much to handle with school. I quickly lost almost all of my motivation for classes by the second or third month. My depression was radically taking over my life. I did not realize I even still had depression. My days were spent in bed and crying about my grades. I strongly had no motivation to reach out to teachers, go to classes, tell my parents, talk to my boyfriend, anything. That was not me at all. My senior year I passed Physics, Trigonometry, and English 102. I was the president of the improv group at my school and the secretary of the Thespian Troop. I got good grades and my life revolved around doing the best I could. This semester should not have been such a flop. I could not even convince myself to go to my councilor. My boyfriend tried helping getting me out of my funk, but it was pretty hopeless. I am thankful for him and his attempts to bring me out of it, though. He recommended I make a huge step to get myself out of my rut and start being medicated for my issues.

I began taking Sertraline and tried getting myself to classes while I still could. My motivation still was not there and I failed a majority of my classes. This semester has been my redemtion. After the medication began to take effect, I found it was easier to motivate myself again. I was quickly able to enjoy classes and reading my textbooks.

Last Week

Last week I went to the councilor for the first time since I was medicated. It had been over three months since I had seen them. They had me take progress surveys so they could see where I am now. The charts showed that since last semester, my anxiety went from an 85 to an 18. My depression went from an 85 to a 25. All of my numbers have significantly dropped and that is a grand improvement. I have my motivation and the drive to succeed and graduate.

So that is where I am at! I am pushing on and doing good! My body image, motivation, and schoolwork has all improved!

I hope you all have a fantastic day and push through the barriers you have been fighting. Today is the time for success! Go do it 🙂

Hello readers!

I’d like to thank you for keeping up with my content! So far, I’ve been very busy with studying and having a social life. Here is a list of interesting things I have done lately!

-I took part in a Spider Study for a psychology student at the University. I stuck my hand in jars that may or may not have had spiders in them. The final jar supposedly had a tarantula in it??? Unsure about that, though I have always been a skeptic

-I have went on several dates with my boyfriend to go see Jordan Peele’s Us and studying at Barnes and Noble. We’ve also been watching the series The Good Place, which is so hilarious and wholesome. I definitely recommend. It’s on Netflix

-I have been meditating more lately! My dad gave me an Apple Watch and I have been trying out different apps on it that help improve lifestyles. Along with working out more, I’ve been attempting to improve my mindset by using a beginner’s meditation app. So far, I have been more calm and have found it much easier to bring myself down when I am getting upset. It has shown me many benefits so far and I am looking forward to future healthy benefits!

That has been my past few weeks lately and the adventures I’ve had! Have a lovely Tuesday and enjoy the outdoors. Smell the air and listen to your surroundings, the world is moving.

My Plant Introduction

Hello, vagabonds! I would like to introduce you to my very small dorm dwellers I have here!

My first plant I got was my cacti family. My best friend gave me a small egg with cacti seeds in it for growth because I love cacti. Unfortunately, my cacti family was living with me at my parent’s house. Another dweller of the house was out family cat, Penny. She knocked my cacti family right off of the window sill they lived on. Once I moved to the dorm at my college, Jared gave me the egg of cacti that he was going to plant.

The Jade plant and the sad little lambs ears were both given to me at the same time. The jade plant I’ve named Ferneas and the lambs ears I named Fern. Ferneas and Fern (after Phineas and Ferb). I am aware neither is close to a fern. That’s what I was going for. Both plants used to be my boyfriend’s, however he failed to realize that plants need light to live. He kept all three of his plants inside and away from windows, so they were dying. I finally convinced him to let me adopt them. After taking them in, both seemed pretty hopeless. After a couple months, Ferneas has now sprouted back up and Fern continues to deteriorate. I refuse to let him pass on, though. I will continue to try.

Good morning!

The day has only begun!

As a person victim to pessimism, I realise it is not always easy to look on the bright side. However, my message today is to make YOU know that positivity is possible! Tell yourself that today is the day! You can do what you want to do. That pile of laundry that has waited to be folded can be folded. Right now, through this message, I am telling you to do what you need (and want) to do! Do your tasks and then make a new friend with a stanger you’re sitting next to. New people equal new opportunities to make a person smile. Once you do, you will feel good. Embrace today! It is a new day and a new opportunity. Take it. The day is young.